


Whos The Real Kingpin?

by R_u_s_t



Category: South Park
Genre: Action, Big boo boos, F/F, F/M, Fighting, Gangs, Gay, Guns, Love Triangle, M/M, Mafia AU, Onesided Love, bring band aids, bunny - Freeform, creek - Freeform, i dont know what else to put, mafia, my hand slipped, pew pow, style, this is a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-17
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-11-19 13:51:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18136589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/R_u_s_t/pseuds/R_u_s_t
Summary: South was once just a strange town but it became a dump when the mafia showed up. Cartman became the name people knew to fear. He was unstoppable. No one could dethrone him at least that’s what he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I forgot I wrote this but when I read it I said yea good enough to post. It might not be I haven’t slept in 3 days so who knows.

“I know you aren't an idiot, you knew that if you tried to rip me off you’d get what was comin for you.” Craig says in a stern voice looking at the young man beneath him. The man was on his knees with a sorry look on his face.

 

“You've got guts. Not many people tried to fuck me over. But you, you.” He says in a power filled voice shaking his head in anger then slamming his foot down on the mans lap. “You thought you could.” Craig smothers his foot into the man’s thigh. He steps back and puts his hand out. Scott drops a bat into his hand. 

 

“You had this coming!” Craig howled lifting up the bat and swinging it down into the man’s side. “You.” Craig said hitting him once more “Don’t fucking take my money!” The man yelps painfully loud 

 

“Im sorry, i'll pay you back I swear! Just give me some time.” The poor man pleads. 

 

“your words almost make me feel bad.” Craig tosses the bat to Scott. “Take care of it.” He pulls out a handkerchief and wipes his hands before walking into the strip club. 

 

“Mr.Tucker! Some policemen are here. They would like to speak to you.” A twitchy young man says as craig walks through the backdoor. He hides his face so Craig can't quite make out who he is.

 

“What do they want?” 

 

“I'm sorry I didn't ask.” 

 

Craig scrunches his face. The police could never link him to much but they sure did bother him. They asked him questions all the time, tried getting him to spill about Cartman but he’d never tell even if he hates the guy it's his work.

 

“It's alright. Not your fault I got cops up to my ass.” He starts walking but his curiosity got the better of him. 

 

“I've never seen you before, are you new?”  

 

The blonde boy stumbles on his words before he says “yeah, I just started working here.” 

 

“What's your name? You look kinda familiar.” Craig says scanning the boy up and down. His eyes lingering at the tight black pants that perfectly shape his body. He notices that the cropped white buttoned up isn't put on correctly. He looks at the sorta messy blonde hair but still cant put his finger on it.

 

“Tweek.” The blonde mumbles before lifting up his head so Craig can see him fully. Suddenly all his memories come running back and Craig stands there dazed staring into Tweeks forest green eyes. The eyes he never thought he could miss so much. “Nice to see you again Craig, miss me?” He says innocently a faint blush on his face. 

 

“Tweek holy shit!” Craig rushes to hug him. “You have no idea how much i've missed you dude!.” He squeezes him tighter unwilling to let go. He doesn’t realize it but he smiles brightly at Tweek and watches as his blonde bud begins to slowly break off the hug. 

“You’ve got some company waiting. I don't want to be the reason you get in trouble.” Tweek say pointing at the police across the room. Craig groans right as he just found out Tweek is back in town, the police come after him just his luck. If only he made up the rules. He would send other people to deal with cops. 

 

“Its okay we can chat later.” The twitchy boy says before going back to work 

 

Craig watches Tweek go walk though a door that says employees only. He smiles watching him walk through it then he makes his way through the club to the police the bright pink and purple lights leading the way. He takes a seat next to Detective Wendy.

 

“Hello officer what would you like to drink?” Craig says a wide smirk on his face. 

 

“I'm not here to chat with you Craig, I know that something shady is going on!” Wendy shouts obnoxiously loud.

 

“Two bourbons it is.” Craig calls over the bartender. “Hey Red, Two bourbons please oh and give the owner my thanks for letting us use his fine establishment.” 

 

“Coming right up.” She says glaring at the officer. 

 

“Craig!” Wendy growls “We need you to tell us about Pips death.” 

 

“Sorry officer but I don't know anything about a Pip.” 

 

    “Craig we know this has something to do with Cartman and we know you work for him just spill and you won't get in that much trouble.” 

 

    Craig chuckles “Geez you detectives have trust issues guess it come with the job.” 

 

    Wendy gets up out of her chair and stands up. She slams her hands down and scowled at Craig. 

 

    “Well then Craig I suppose you won't mind if we look around.” 

 

    “Yes please look all you want little miss perfect I don't have anything to hide.”

 

     Wendy walks to the backdoor where she saw Craig enter from and when she got there she saw nothing. She looked around up and down but found nothing she growled then slammed the door. She looked around the club but couldn’t find any solid evidence of anything. 

 

    Craig sat at the bar drinking a glass of bourbon. 

 

   “See, now come here and have a drink. Loosen up.” He pats the chair next to him. 

 

    “No i'll be on my way. Just know i'll find a way to take you down.” She says a smug look on her face

 

    “Alrighty then bendy Wendy see ya!” 

 

    Red grabs the glass that Wendy left. 

 

    “She still that stuck up bitch from elementary.”

 

    “Yea she really is” He pauses for a second watching her walk out. “Oh and why didn’t you tell me Tweek was back.” 

 

    “Thought you wouldn’t care much.” She was silently drinking and starring at employee only door he walked through. “Funny.” She was thinking aloud when she said “He was actually hired as a stripper so I don't know why he's walking around like a bartender.”

 

   Craig choked on his drink before sitting their in utter disbelief. How is it possible for him to change so much over such a short amount of time its been about two years since he left and he comes back to be a stripper. He retains his composure before speaking. “This town is really changing.”

 

    “He's quite good at pole dancing. He’s working tomorrow if you wanna swing by.” Red smirks she knows just what to say to break Craig fragile heterosexuality.

 

    Craigs face is a light pink and its moments like this that he thanks the pink and purple strobe lights. “I might swing by.” He says putting on a fake cool guy facade when his mind is screaming.

 

   Craig finishes his drink before he catches up with Scott and his other two hitmen Mimsy and Terrance. Craig sees killing every little person who betrays him as inconvenient so he just scares them so they go back to fearing him. 

 

Craig looks at the beat up guy wobbling away. He feels accomplished and calls up Cartman. The phone rings for a bit before Eric picks up. 

 

“What do you want fucker?” 

 

“I found the mole fat ass.”

 

“Oh goodie you get rid of him?” 

“No I dealt with it though.” He emphasizes dealt. 

“I want him dead.”

 

“Go cry me a river.”

 

“Fuck you, did you pick up Kenny? ” 

 

“Yea but he said he didn't want to work for you.”

 

“Liar!” Cartman shouted

 

    Craig hung up the phone. He would rather not hear him throw a fit again. Cartman makes him so fucking mad. He yells at the littlest of things and throws a fit when things don't go his way. ‘Wish someone else in the town would take over’ craig laughs at the idea. No one could. Cartman has people everywhere. He has so much power around here just his last name and people’s knees begin to tremble. Craig stands in a dark alleyway holding on to the idea that one day. Someone will overthrow Cartman. Someone has just got to. He smiles at himself and walks out the alley and into the streets of South Park. He looks around at the rundown town. Its turned into a shithole once the mafia took over. The second Cartman heard there was some big man in charge of shit he wanted in. At first he was nothing more that a shoe cleaner but he sure did rise up. Eric saw mafia potential in Craig. He asked if Craig would work for him. He instantly turned it down then Cartman said fine then lets be be partner. The number one reason Eric was king pin was because he was good at convincing people. Craig was dumber back then, the word partners made it feel like a team. Boy was he wrong. Craig took the underworld by surprise. He did most things so smoothly and no one saw him coming. People feared Craig sometimes more than Cartman.

 

     Craig walked swiftly to Cartman's house. Still mostly lost in thought when he saw Kyle in his jet black ‘undercover’ car in the driveway. He sighs and walks up to it. 

 

    Craig knocks on the window a smirk on his face. He watches as kyle puts on a disgusted look. 

     “What do you want?” Kyle spits out his words sounding cold to the touch. 

    “I just wanna say my offer still stands.” 

 

    “I'm not gonna work with you fuckers.”

 

    “We aren't as bad as you make us out to be. Most of the police already work with us.”

 

    “I'm not a dirty cop like those others and trust me you’ll see them go down.” 

 

    “Sure would suck to see our inside men go down.” Craig says sarcastically. Cartman may be dumb but jimmy comes up with ideas that truly always make them prevail. 

 

    “It’ll happen” Kyle snarls watching as Craig starts to walk away

 

     “I'm sure it will!” Craig says going into Cartman's house. “Remember though bad plays dirty.” He chuckles and walks through the doors of Cartman's house. Cartman stands in front of Stan with his leg on the table trying to show his authority but more looks like an idiot. He smiles when he sees Craig enter. 

 

      “My best worker i'm just showing the new guy how to play.” Eric points at Stan. He squirms awkwardly. Not another poor soul. This job puts a whole lot of weight on people’s shoulders. Craig could barely stand on his own most days. He felt bad as he watched Stan sit on the sofa.

 

    “Stan you know what we do right? Cartman didn’t trick you?” 

 

    “Like hell id wanna trick Stan into this he’s never even crossed my mind as a good worker.” 

 

    Stan stands up the shame in his eyes disappearing and Craig saw a fire starting in its place. Stans stances goes from looking like a slum run down bum to looking stronger tougher. He gets in Cartman's face. 

 

    “Try me.” He says if Craig hadn’t known his since Elementary he would’ve thought he was being real. He saw that Stan was shaking but couldn’t quite tell why. 

 

    “Oh poopsikins~ Someone on the phone is asking for you!” Eric's mom says from the kitchen. Her voice so close to childhood. “They say it's important.” 

 

    “I'll be right back fucker don’t scare him off.” Cartman says walking to the kitchen. Once Craig sees he's gone he rushes to whisper to Stan.

 

    “Why are here? Is it money I can give you money!” A loud whisper fills the room. 

 

    “No I just. I want to know I’m safe. I want to protect someone friends I have. I'm here to be ahead of the game.” 

 

    “This will put you in harms way.”

 

    “I’ll know what’s happening. I want to know.”

 

    “You’re not a cop are you? You aint working for the feds?” Craig eyes him looking for wires. 

 

    “No just let me help out I swear im not a cop.” He says standing up to pat himself down.  “No wires.” The fake facade he put on goes away but the fire in his eyes doesn't. 

 

    Craig looks at Stan. What could he possibly want to work here for? Why is he doing this? No one wakes up and says yea the mafia sounds like a soundproof job. He looks at Stan then at himself. Was he that eager? Was he bright when he started? Did he have a fire too? Craig turned his head and started walking out of the living room and into the basement where Cartman put the secret base. He hears loud thumping footsteps from the kitchen and know the only one able to shake the house that hard was Cartman. He stopped in his tracks and turned to face Eric. 

 

    “Dude The Pink Panther just got shot up. Some new gang caught hear that you were there you're gonna have to steer clear of that place for a bit.”

 

    Craig took in the words barely realizing them. Then he remembered. Is Tweek okay? He bolted out of the house. He ran so fast his men couldn’t follow him. He was on his own running at his own pace. He was fast but not fast enough for him. The club wasn't that far but it wasn't the closet either. He didn’t stop when he started feeling sick. He didn’t stop when he saw the pink lights instead he zoomed in. What he saw surprised him. Tweek was holding a gun and he had shot one of the guys in the shoulder and both legs. He was pinning the man down asking him questions. 

 

“Who do you work for?” Tweek screamed. He didn’t seems to notice Craig walk in he didn’t seem to hear Craig call his name. He almost felt like a different person. 

 

“Holy shit!” Craig exclaimed he felt horrified and amazed at the same time. Tweek finally noticed him. He turned his head and instantly flushed red. He looked at the man underneath him and looked scared. He got up started running off embarrassed but before he could Craig grabbed him. “Don't go.” That's all he says but his pleading puppy eyes left Tweek defenseless. The man on the ground was in pain but still tried to squirm away. Craig stomped on his shot leg. “Who the fuck sent you?” He yells 

 

“Fuck!” The man exclaims in pain. “Fucking Kevin!” He says kevin there are two kevins in town. Either one of them would be a shocker. One more than the other. 

 

“Why'd he want me?” Craig says in a strong solid voice that makes Tweek shiver out of fear. Craig digs his foot into the wound. 

 

“You got spunk he wants you to work for him instead.” 

 

“Why the hell would you shoot up The Pink Panther then?”

 

“Well I actually did that. When we didn’t find you we got bored and decided to rob this dump.️” 

 

Craig cringed at the man referring to The Pink Panther as a dump. This was his home. He lifted his foot up and off the man. The man hurried away but Craig was letting him go. Why keep him what's he gonna do? He sighs and goes over to the bar the pink and purple lighting was gone instead the room was lit up with harsh white lights. He takes a seat and Tweek sits very closely next to him leaning on his shoulder. They sat there for a good minute. Then Craig jolts up in realization. 

 

“Red!” He says looking around “where is she?” 

 

Tweek points at the employees only door. They both ran in. Nothing could have prepared them for what they saw. 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They aint dating yet but sure as hell be crushin’. I didn’t really proofread this one so there are probably a few grammatical errors. Oh and sorry if I slipped up somewhere I read it to look for that but Im really bad at judging.

Kenny walked around late at night. He held on to a bag of snacks he got at the store for him and Karen to eat. He walked swiftly knowing that at this time of night gangs were walking around. He didn’t want to get involved in those but sometimes when he saw how much money his brother had he wants to. He passes Cartman's house the lights are still on and he can hear a very faint bunch of laughter. He moves faster. Cartman's gang always tries to get kenny to join. They notice that when he fights he fights like his life isn't that important. That always made Kenny laugh. He dies all the fucking time what's one more. He feels someone behind him as he walks. A cool chill runs down his spine he quickly turns around and sees Butters standing in his slippers and thin white, pink, and blue polka dotted pajamas. 

“Its fucking freezing!” He yells trying not to wake up the town. “How the hell are you wearing that?”

“Well it has long sleeves and pants!” Butter replies but Kenny can tell he feels cold. “And I didnt want to spend time changing what if you left by then?”

“Why would you even want to catch up with me?” 

“Because you’re my pal and being cooped up in a room is really boring so I wanted to try sneaking out the way you usually sneak in.” Butters explained shaking just a little. Most likely from the cold winter air nipping at him. He looked so happy. Kenny never understood that. How can he smile through all the shit the universe gives him? How can such a sweet kid come from such means parents? How can such a sweet kid come from a broken redneck town? Kenny looks at butters a faint smile on his face.

“Aren't ya a bit scared of getting grounded out of existence.”

“No cause you’ll find a way to help me feel free. You always do.” 

Kenny shift awkwardly. Why’d butters always make kenny feel like a hero.

“Alright them don't blame me when your dad puts you in a metal cage.”

They start walking to Kenny's house. They both talk and laugh all the way to their destination. Butters shivers and shakes quite a bit, so kenny gives him his sweater, he was wearing a long sleeve white shirt under it so he was pretty sure he could survive the short walk to his house. Once the house is in sight Kenny turns to Butters in his footie pajamas and gives him a look. A look Butters understood as ‘race?’ He nods and they both stop. They line up at a crack in the cement and they’re off! Butters dashes through town but he can almost never beat Kenny. Butters slows down unable to keep running anymore. Kenny keeps going give it his all until he trips and falls face first into the hard concrete ground. Leo panics and rushes to him. 

“Kenny! Are you alright?” He says his voice still a hushed whisper. He watches kenny flop over to lay on his back. A loud groan as he does. 

“Fuckin super.” He says sarcastically rubbing his head. He feels blood streaming down from his forehead. He wipes it then wipes his bloody nose. He smiles up at butters. 

“Oh hamburgers! Your face looks like you got in a fight.”

“I did. The ground beat me up. I think you can tell who the winner is.” 

Butters giggles covering his mouth with his sleeve. He puts his hand out smiling brightly and the moon illuminating behind him. He looks like an angel. He is one of the prettiest angels Kenny thinks he’s ever seen. He doesn’t realize he is staring until he hears Leo awkwardly chuckle. He snaps out of his trance and grabs his hand. Butters yanks his arm back and in one swift move Kenny is on his feet again brushing the dirt off his knees. 

“Lets get home so I can care for those wounds.”

“Yea okay.”

They walk silently Kennys arm wrapped around butters shoulder. 

Once they get home Kenny sees his brother dropping off a load of cash to help get Karen and him through the month with. He leaves it in a place that their parents don't usually look. Kenny hates taking his money but what else can he do. He grips butters tighter without realizing it.

“Its okay.” Butters whispers “You’re doing what you need to do.” He tries be comforting he is unable to help.

Kenny watches Kevin run back into the darkness of the night. They keep walking and Kenny picks up the money. It's usually about 150 give or take. They learned how to live off of it. Kevin doesn’t give any to their mom and dad. If they think they have enough financial stability to buy beer and other things that don't matter then they can live without a helpful boost. They walk in Kenny knows that on Friday nights his parents stay out till the sun rises drinking or partying like teenagers. 

“Be quiet Karen is asleep.” Ken whispers making butters nod. 

They tiptoe inside and up to Kenny's room the house creaking with their every step. 

“Were here welcome to my crib. Let me give you the tour.” Kenny grabs butters arm and pulls him around. “First we have my dresser I put my clothes in here.” He points at a dirty broken dresser with writing on it and stains from god know what.

“Cool!” Leo says excitedly trying not to be too loud.

“Then we have my chest!” Kenny points at a dirt brown old chest with some rust on the metal parts. “You don't need to know what's in it but just know i love them.”

“Like toys?” Butters question

“Of sorts.” Kenny chuckles his chipped tooth showing off from the moonlight outside the dried up blood sticking to him as he laughs. 

“Over here we have my bed. I didn’t expect guest so it a bit messy.” He tries patting it down. “And now—“ he says falling on his back into the bed. “—im too lazy to show you the rest.” He pats the side next to him. 

“Isn't that a little invasive?” Butters askes shyly fiddling with his fingers.

“Not at all come’re.”

They lie on the bed next to each other. They dont speak much. Kenny didn’t realize how exhausted he was until he felt his bed. He quickly dozes off. He feels a bright heat on his face. When he wakes up the blood on his is gone and he had a few band-aids on. Butters isn't next to him, instead he finds a note. Reading

I didn't want to wake up cause you  
must be so tired to have passed like that :)

Kenny smiles at it and changes into clothes that look exactly like what he wore yesterday. He went downstairs to find his parents passed out on the couch. Karen gets out of her room and walks to Kenny. 

“So i heard that butters boy here last night.” Karen spoke she sounded like she was trying to scold Kenny. 

“Yea he didn't like being all cooped up.” 

“Next time—“ she stopped showing Kenny what she was holding “—let me thank him.” She held up a bracelet kit. Butters and Karen had a lot of the same interest. It was normal for Karen to have chats with Butters about their interest. Kenny had an arm for karen's bracelets and an arm for butter’s. 

“Well guess he's gotta come over again.” 

“Yes! He has to!” Karen says excitedly forgetting about her parents. 

“Hush.” Kenny points at this parents.

“Oh right.” She whispers

“I gotta go see if Butters got mega grounded.” Kenny says giving karen 10$ for food if she got hungry.

“Alright tell him I said thanks.” Karen says pulling Kenny into a hug. “See ya” 

Kenny walks out of the house. Quickly and quietly. Once he can no longer sees his house a couple of Cartman's men come out and take Kenny. This happens quite a bit so kenny lets them blindfold him. Cartman thinks no one knows where his secret hideout is. Once Kenny is in the car he hears a familiar nasally voice. With his hands untied he very easily takes off the blindfold which is a dumb rule even to craig so he ignores it. 

“Hello Mcwhoremick” Craig laughs at himself

“Don't act all superior if you want me to work with you.” Kenny says nonchalantly while looking out the window to see the car passing Cartman's house “Woah wait where the fuck are we going.”

“Don't worry just listen to what i have to say.” Kenny is a bit peeved by his words but if he tries and fight him things will just be harder.

“Fine.” 

“I'm not asking you to work for that asshole I want you to tell me that you would fight by me if anything were to happen.” 

“What kind of question is that. Are you planning to take over? Cause i'll fight for that.” 

“No, just if i were to tell you would you stand by me or Cart-“

Kenny cuts off Craig “Like that's even a question.” He grabs some chocolate he saw Craig carrying he probably brought it as an alliance basket as if he fucking needed that. Kenny opens the chocolate.

“So who then?”

“You dumbass. Of course imma stand by my best friend.”

“Thanks Ken. Glad I can count on you.” 

They turn around and end up back where they picked up kenny. Craig smiles at Ken when the car stops. 

“Don't call me Mcwhoremick ever again space boy.”

“Don't call me space boy and we've got a deal.”

“I don't know if i cant keep that promise.” Kenny says slyly.

Craig gives him the finger before pushing him out of the car. Kenny falls out and grins at craig. 

“Goodbye princess.” Craig says before driving away. Kenny walks alone to butters house. Butters dad doesn’t like him much so that's why when he goes over to see butters in the day time he always acts like he's getting chased and need Mr.Stotch to let him in. He knocks loudly on the door while looking behind him. Kenny makes up a story every time. The door opens and a tall man stands sighing loudly. 

“I-I need to hide quickly! A crack head is after me and—“ 

“Butters! The drop out is here.” He growls out. Looking kenny up and down like he's always done since Ken was a kid.

“Aw I had a cool story this time man!” Ken says before walking in like he owns the place. 

“Don't get too comfortable butters has got to study for college. Something you wouldn’t understand.”

“Oh prideful aintcha.” Kenny snorts “It's all good i just needed to tell your son something then i'll be out of your hair.” Kenny walks up stairs. He strides to Leo's room and opens the door.

“Hey buttercup—“ Kenny sees butters changing he has half his pants on but he has his shirt fully on. 

“Oh hamburgers. I don't have a lock so i just get dressed and I didn’t expect you to barg in.” He quickly pulls his pants up feeling a little embarrassed. Kenny laughs and so does butters. 

“Oh well ya learn from your mistakes.” 

“I probably should’ve just gone down right away. I just don't like people seeing me in my jammies.”

“I saw you last night though?”

“Well I was in a rush last night if it were up to me I would’ve changed but you move fast.”

“Heard you’re studying.” 

“Yup got my stuff right here.” He points at a book on his desk. “What’d you come by for?” 

“I wanted to thank you that gift you gave Karen. She was so happy when she saw it this morning.” 

“I’m glad but that's not the only reason you came over.” Butters moves closer to Kenny. “Is it?” He says innocently 

“Butters I don't like taking my brother money.” Kenny huffs out. “You are one of the only people who know that I do and just—“ he groans. “—I don't fucking want to but what other fucking choice do i have.” He moves to Butters bed and takes a seat. 

“Its okay Ken.” Butters consults. He moves to sit next to him. “You’ve tried a plentiful of other things and they don't work out for you.” He wraps his arm around Kenny pulling his into his lap. “You are just doing what you have to do.” Butters pets him softly.

“What if I join the mafia.” Kenny suggests sitting up very quickly.

“No! You'll get yourself killed!” 

“I can't die.”

“You aren’t invincible Kenny! You have to think about Karen.” 

“Buttercup i'm a highschool dropout. The mafia was inevitable. Plus I can make a solid amount of money.” 

“But” Butters sighs before realizing it's no use kenny seems pretty headstrong about this. He gives up fairly quickly.

 

Anything he says kenny will disregard. He sighs once more before he stands up and moves in front of Kenny. He hugs kenny in a protective way and softly whisper “Just please don't get yourself killed.”

Ken rest his head in the crook of butter’s neck. “I won't.” He whispers back.


	3. Bar time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahahhah this is late and im sorry. I got too sick to fuckin breath and all ive done for the past two weeks is sleep. Oh and apologizing in advanced this story is really gay.

A gruesome sight none of the boys could’ve prepared for. Craig had killed some people sure. It was his job. Most times however he didn’t. He didnt find it necessary (too much to cover up). What he saw wasn’t anything like what he had seen so far. Skeeter was dead. Red was hovering over his body doing nothing but staring at it.   
“Hes gone.” She says dully turning away from the body with heavy eyes. “Make those fuckers pay Craig.” She sniffles, squaring her shoulders and removing any emotion from her face. 

“I will.” Craig reaches for his phone stepping out of the room to make his call to Cartman.

“Kevin is going down.”

“Look who’s acting large and in charge sorry though fucker but I dont take orders—“ he stops to munch on something presumably KFC “—from well, a shitty hitman.” Even though Craig can’t see him he know Eric is grinning like an idiot on the other end. 

“Oh fuck you!” Craig yells into the phone hanging up before Eric can get another word in. 

He walks back to the room to see Tweek moving his hand closer to Red but she jolts away before he can touch her. 

“What’d he say?” She tries not to sound too desperate asking. 

“Unimportant. Were on our own which is better who needs that fatass anyway.” How could Craig not have thought of this sooner. He knows the ins and outs of Cartman’s gang. He can take them out. 

“Im gonna take down Cartman and then Kevin But imma need some help.” Craig thinks knowing very well he has Kenny and his old pals from school. Cartman would still have more men than him but he can get by. 

“Ill help!” Tweek shouts leaving Reds side and rushing to Craig’s. “I want to help you in anyway I can!” He looks at Craig with a look of adoration. Words seem unnecessary at that moment.

“Me too.” Red speaks breaking their silence getting up and brushing off her knees more for effect than anything. “Ill stand by you space boy no matter what.” She forces a smile. Craig smiles back not letting her efforts go to waste.

The three adults look about the room. A single question on their mind. Who’s gonna clean up this mess? It has to be someone in this room. But who?

Tweek is the one to speak up. Opening his mouth to say something but Red cuts in before he can get a word in. “Ill do it.” She says in quick manner almost as if she wanted to. “If anyone else does they’ll fuck it up.” She retreats to the cleaning closet as the two boys stand there shocked. 

“You sure you got this?” Craig asked moving out of the way so Red can shimmy her back into the break room. 

“Ive cleaned a few mishaps like this I work at a fucking strip club. Thats barf and other unknown substances to clean all night baby.” She scoffs filling up a bucket with water and ammonia. The room smells of both metal and chemicals making Tweek cover his nose. 

“This is a dead body not some drunk guys puke.” 

“The dead body is my dad and if I dont clean it soon it’ll start to stink so get the fuck out.” Her tone wasn’t much of a roar but was still scary as hell. 

The boys left Red to sit alone in that room scrubbing the walls in silence. Craig and Tweek were sitting at the bar. Not wanting to leave Red all alone and unable to ask for help.

Tweek leaned on Craig’s shoulder both of them too lost in thought to even think about the small couple like gesture. Craig reaches forward to get a bottle of liquor so perfectly placed in front of him. 

“Dont drink that.” Tweek says slapping the black haired boys hand. 

“Why?” 

“You dont know where thats been!” Tweek shouts moving his head. 

Craig contemplates it and in the end ignores Tweek’s warning. “Heard you were hired as a stripper?” Craig says nonchalantly taking a swig of the drink in his hand.

Tweek froze, mouth almost sewn shut, eyes looking at the floor. “I needed a job.” He finally speaks running a hand through his messy hair.

“It doesn’t matter what you do I was just, well surprised.” Tweek takes the bottle out of Craigs hand. He throws it to the other side of the bar a loud crash when it hits the ground. 

“Well I was surprised to find out you were a hitman.” The blonde watches Craigs brow begin to furrow. 

“What the hell was that for?” 

“If you want to take down Cartman pretty sure your gonna need to be sober.” Tweek smiles before bursting out into laughter. “And because you’re so easy to piss off.” 

“Not funny bro.” 

“Remember in middle school when you used to call me babe.” 

“How could I forget! I did it in Elementary too.” 

They sit there reminiscing in the time when they were younger. When they were kids they played along with town thinking they were a gay couple. They laughed about it all the time. It wasn’t until they grew up that they realize they were actually gay. Well Tweek was full gay Craig was only half. They didn’t think about them actually liking each other though. They did however ‘break up’ and because more people came out as queer they weren’t the talk of the town anymore. They were simply side character as they were before. 

Tweek wanted to date other people and having the taken title meant he couldn’t. Craig felt the same way. However a month after the break up Tweek moved to another school. Craig tried to keep in touch but Tweek got too busy. Then Craig started dating Kenny and he got busy. Point is they were busy teens without much free time. Their tight bond didn’t even fade away though. Both of them thought of each other all the time. 

“High school sure as hell changes people.” The black haired boys says.

“It really does.” Tweek pauses “Im sorry I stopped calling you.” 

“S’Not your fault just the way this all worked out.” Craig slumps his upper body onto the bar. “Im sorry I left you for Kenny.” He jokes.

Tweek chuckles “Its okay I tried dating someone at my new school. They didn’t like the dating part though.” Tweek slumped over just like Craig did and turns his head to look at noire. “You were the best boyfriend I have ever had.” Both boys chuckle at that before dozing off.


End file.
